


The Closest Place to Heaven

by hatsun3



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-29 06:56:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16259000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatsun3/pseuds/hatsun3
Summary: The final time Levi sees Erwin's smile before the light takes him away.





	The Closest Place to Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> If you're sad, I advise you not to read this, cause, hell, I'm just gonna make it worse for you, I'm afraid. Find something to cheer yourself up, don't read my trash.

A soft spluttering sob fills the room.

  


It echoes, sound bouncing around the walls, filling Erwin’s ears. His frown deepens. He can barely see, can only just make out the silhouette of Levi’s features if he squints hard enough, but it’s all he needs. He can see the thick tears rolling down the other’s face, warm salt dripping across his cheeks in streams that show no sign of stopping, and though Erwin wants to comfort him, to lift his limbs and wrap them around his lover, he’s afraid that one of them is missing, and the others aren’t too far from being lifeless.

  


“I love you, please, please Erwin, you can’t…” Words fall from Levi’s lips in a mess, a stuttery, teary mess that breaks Erwin’s heart. He’s struggling to breathe. Hange’d dosed him up on some meds, and they’d helped a little, though the effect seems to be wearing off now, the needle in his remaining arm doing very little, though there’s not much anybody can do about it. Hange’s frantic, rushing around to try and find something, anything that will work, but it’s no avail, it seems, by the way she returns from the medical store room empty handed.

  


Usually, this would be the time where Levi starts to shout, to tell her to find something, anything that’ll bring his commander back, though he doesn’t have the energy, only has enough strength to sob and plead, to grip Erwin’s remaining left hand like it’s the only thing he’ll ever hold again, and it very well might be. He isn’t planning on staying alive much longer after this. He can’t. Not when his only love, the only person he can trust is leaving him alone again.

  


“Levi…” Erwin coughs out a soft sound, though Levi recognises it as his name, nodding frantically as fresh tears threaten to spill from the brim of his eyes. “Levi, Love… Please listen to me.” He’s already listening, to every breath, every inhale, every exhale, he can’t bear to focus on anything else, not even the gentle cries of Hange in the corner of the room, nor the saddening silence of Mike only a few feet away.

  


“I’m here..” Levi whispers, because his voice is sore and he’s afraid that if he speaks any louder, his throat will fail him entirely. He shuffles impossibly closer to Erwin, head pressing into the warm crook of the other’s neck. Hange told him to keep away, didn’t want Levi to make this harder for himself than it had to be, though she watches with streams of tears as the shorter man wraps his arms around Erwin’s torso, sobbing into his chest.

  


Erwin splutters out another soft sentence. “I love you. Please don’t do anything you’ll regret,” He murmurs, using as much strength as he can muster to give the gentlest of squeezes to Levi’s shaking hand. He wishes to stroke the others hair oh so badly, to run his fingers through the raven-coloured strands for just one final time, though his arm is practically immobilised. 

  


“What’s there to regret in a world without you?” Levi sobs out gently, lifting Erwin’s paling arm to his chest, pressed up against his heart, allowing the other to feel the thumping rhythm of his beating heart. He watches Erwin smile, only spurring his tears to fall faster. He’s afraid he won’t see the same smile ever again. One so pure, so gentle, so full of love. If the afterlife truly did exist, he’d be lucky if he even got a glimpse of his commander up his heaven. He’d be sent straight to hell where he belongs.

  


“I’ll always be here, okay?” Erwin whispers, pressing his fingers firmly against Levi’s chest, feeling the pressure of his heartbeat through his fingertips. He almost sheds a tear himself, watching Levi break down before him, though he knows he has to stay strong, as he always has. For Levi, for Hange, for Mike, for everybody in the corps who’d believed in him, and even everybody who hadn’t.

  


Levi doesn’t need to look to Hange to know that Erwin’s fading. He can feel his grip loosening, his fingers falling soft, breath dragging slow. It’s only a matter of minutes before his spirit rises and Levi hasn’t said even half the things he needs to say. Most words come out as a jumbled mix of ‘I love you’ and ‘Please don’t leave me’ because, by this point, he’s lost all logical reasoning. He wishes oh so badly that he could reverse time, stop Erwin from going on such a dangerous expedition, though time is forwarding, never ending, and Levi hates the world more than he already did when he feels Erwin’s chest hitch, another soft cough leaving his lungs.

  


“Live your life, Levi. That’s an order,” The sentence feels like it takes years to struggle out, though the soft sounds only just manage to leave his lips before his eyes gently slip shut and Levi’s panic arises. His stomach starts to churn, wanting oh so badly to spill its lack of contents, though he lays his cheek against Erwin’s chest, listening to his dying heartbeat, silent tears trailing down and spilling against Erwin’s soft grey shirt, still stained with blood from battle.  Levi sobs for the final time before closing his eyes, allowing the numbness to spread across his body before he slips into another fit of cries.

  


“Yes, Commander…”


End file.
